Over the years, we’ve found that clutter and disorganization in a home is often a source of embarrassment for our clients. It’s time to change that mindset! You are not defined by your messy pantry or the garage you can’t fit your car into. Most of us have an abundance of reasons why we haven’t gotten a handle on our clutter (yet!)—whether it’s time, ability, a family member who tears through freshly organized spaces like a tornado, or one of many psychological reasons for holding onto the clutter. In this blog, we unpack five of the most common psychological causes for accumulating clutter and share helpful strategies to move past them.
Fear
Fear is one of the biggest obstacles to letting go of excess items. Many people worry that getting rid of items with sentimental value will cause them to forget the past. Others fear that if they part with an item, they will eventually regret their decision. This fear of future regret can paralyze a person as they are attempting to clear out the clutter. Another way that fear shows up in decluttering efforts is when people are afraid of what other people (both living and those no longer with us) will think about our choice to part with an item. Understanding what you are afraid of is the first step in figuring out how to navigate this extremely powerful and controlling emotion.
Sentimentality
Objects can hold sentimental value even if you no longer want or need them. Maybe you are holding on to an object not because you love it, need it, or use it, but because you simply remember where you got it. Or maybe you have something that is broken beyond repair—but because a loved one gave it to you, you feel like you should keep it. But would the person want you to hold on to the broken thing? Will you really lose your memory of the person or your connection with them if you get rid of it? Are there ways to hold on to the memory of the person or the experience (perhaps through photos, conversations, or journaling) that can strengthen the memory without taking up space? Remember that the past is stored in memories and photos—not objects.
Safety and Comfort
Most people have a strong psychological pull towards safety and comfort—and some of us focus on objects as the source of that safety and comfort. This sometimes stems from childhood scarcity, or even just hearing stories about the scarcity experiences of others. You can see this play out when people have extras of seemingly everything on hand, including items that would be a stretch to need multiple versions of. For these folks, it feels like a risk to get rid of something you might need in the future. What if there is another pandemic and you need 700 rolls of toilet paper? What if you suddenly lose or gain 10 pounds and need those clothes that haven’t fit in a decade? It’s okay to have a cushion to make yourself feel secure, but if your extra things are making it impossible to make room for the people and activities you love, it might be time to let go of the excess.
Indecision and Procrastination
Think about decisiveness as a continuum. On the one end, you have people who quickly make a judgment on something and then never look back. On the other end, you have people who hem and haw about every last decision. Perhaps they are writing extensive pro and con lists—or maybe they are just refusing to make a decision. Clutter is often just a sign of indecisiveness. Instead of making a decision, you just put the item in your closet or shove it back in a drawer. Do you have any DOOM piles in your home? DOOM stands for “Didn’t Organize, Only Moved.” These are stacks of papers or a box of items that you move around, but don’t actually confront. The first step toward handling your indecision is understanding that your indecision is what’s stalling your progress! Bring in a trusted (and opinionated!) friend to sit with you and help you sort through your stuff. Use our tried-and-true method to help bring clarity to what you should keep and what you can let go.
Depression and Anxiety
While most of the psychological reasons we’ve discussed so far are common and not concerning, it is important to note that sometimes an inability to deal with clutter is caused by depression, anxiety, and other more serious conditions. If that sounds like that might describe you, we encourage you to show compassion and care for yourself by reaching out to a trusted professional.
As you think about where you are in your organizing journey, we hope that learning about the psychology behind the clutter will help you self-reflect—and then make an action plan. And if you ever need help simplifying your Hive, you know you can call in the Bees!
